I am a proud member of the White Trash Club. In fact, I am the president. Since becoming a mother, I have done and said things that I would never DREAM of doing or saying before I had kids. For example, baby talk. Before kids? Annoying! After kids... chips are chippies, toes are toesies, and on and on. Here are a few of the other things I swore I would never do... until I had my own kids.
1. Put my kid in velcro shoes. Not too fashionable but the conveinence is sooo worth it!
2. Have my kid wear a dirty shirt or have a dirty face and go into public. I would always think "How hard is it to wipe their face or put on a clean shirt?" Obviously, it's very hard, because I see it all the time. Dirty shirts symbolize that your kid is well fed.
3. Let my kid eat candy for dinner. Hey, as long as they're not crying, let them eat whatever they want. At least it's some nourishment.
4. Let my kid run around the front yard in a diaper and play with the hose. That is a summer must!! Why put on a swimsuit and waste a perfectly good $2.00 swim diaper when the huggies diaper does the same job... just a little saggier and heavier.
5. Have my kid wear ratty hair to wal-mart. I would think "Honestly, how hard is it to brush down your kid's ratty hair?" Obviously, very hard! You see a variety of bed heads each and every time you go to wal-mart. My solution is buzzing my son's hair, and Paige doesn't really have that much to begin with, so she can pass for a girl or boy. I just put her in a nuetral color and let all those old men tell me what a cute little guy I have. Even in pink from head to toe, I still get that same comment, so whatever.
6. Wipe my kid's butt. Gross, I know, but before kids, that would sick me out to see my sister's wiping their 3 and 4 year old kid's butts. Now, it's so worth it to go and wipe my kid's butts instead of seeing skid city in their undies!!
7. Change a dirty diaper anywhere. You name it, on the trunk of my car, on the floor of the church, name it, I've changed a diaper there! I am permanently banning the mother's lounge too! When you have a new baby that poops... not so stinky. But I can't stand the mothers who take their 2 and 3 year old and change them in the mother's lounge. First of all that room is the size of my bathtub and a stinky diaper is toxic in that small of a space!!! Be kind, and take your smelly kid somewhere else!!
Mothering is all about survival. I love being a mom, but I am just taking one day at a time and trying to have my kid's turn out to be normal human beings. So, if you do any of these things, welcome to being a white trash club member. If you do all of them... I am always looking for a good vice president!!!
6 comments:
Can you get into the club by having your kids wear Snoopy clothes? If so then I'm in-
No, no. You see, I'm from the WTC Detection agency, and acording to my records, you do not live up to the true standards of the official WTC organization. You actually put hair things in Paige's hair and your house is clean, etc. You'd have to be living in an OBVIOUS fixer-upper with weeds the size of Kentucky growing in your yard. You'd have to have a billion broken toys out front with naked kids running loose, and the most important part- you'd have to be wearing a white tank top with no bra, be 400 pounds overweight, and have quite the hick accent. I don't think you qualify yet. Sorry.
You are so not white trash. Come to Hurricane and then you will really see some white trash. I would love to borrow your wig. I think I have your number and I work today so I could stop by and pick it up after work. I have to go to Costco and don't you live over by there? I'll call you today. Thanks so much!
This post was just what I needed to read - it made me laugh! I am going to be totally overwhelmed with 3 little kids and I will be in total survivor mode. Hey - as long as your kids are loved (which they are), it's all good!
Wow was I surprised to see your comment on my Blog (that I never update or even look at). My friend was asking me what our blog name was and I had to get on line to remember what it was called, sad I know. I then realized that I had some comments and there you were. I need your phone number so I can call you. Brad is in St. George every week and I go with him sometimes so I will call you and we can get together. Your family is so adorable.
Danika
208-569-1113
Robyn.. you are the greatest.. i laughed hysterically at this one. I know we talk about these things every day but reading it was even better. Thanks for a good laugh and thanks for being such an awesome mom, friend, and example to me.. love you tons.
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